Today i thought i'd be a good stage in my script to completely re-read it so i can get an insight into whats going well and what needs more work on. I felt like my narrative and dialogue was good, the opening was strong, but i wasn't sure about how the main character Nicole gave most of the story line away at the beginning because she tells the audience that whats she's going to do before it is already followed through with. Im concerned that this gives away the storyline slightly too early, but without it i don't want confusion to be made within the audience. However, i really like the scene changes between Nicole and her journey and the classroom where she should be, it shows the perspectives of what her life is like and should be like.
I edited the first scene when we were introduced to her friends holly and Kate, i felt like i needed to give Nicole another friend so there was more to the sub-story, this would help keep the audience interested in the story line.
Furthermore, i changed in the first scene the fact that Nicole says she's never met her boyfriend. I changed this because i didn't feel that's how a girl of that age would speak they know people will question her if she starts to say that she's met him online or that she's never met him previous to this visit. So i edited that so that she always tried to avoid that question, this helps indicate to the audience that something is wrong within their relationship from the beginning, without giving it away.
I feel like i should also work on scene 5 where she begins to get all the online abuse, i need to lengthen this part so it seems more sustainable at the moment it feels like its not complete. This will also help guide the sub stories and the plots going on within those stories.
On the other hand, i feel like i have good diverse parts involved with my play, it involves technology of the projector which makes it more visually interesting for the audience and i want the play to have a heavy involvement with lighting to help aid the emotions going through the play.
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